Warning: Sad Post Ahead

So I have some sad news to address. (Remember how I said my blog was cathartic? Well, here it is...) On March 31, 2011 my grandma (Peanut's great grandma) passed away. There's no way to put it other than to say my heart is really heavy. I am happy in knowing that she is no longer in both physical and emotional pain, but also very sad to know that she is no longer on this earth. My heart breaks for my dad, his brother, and for my family who lost our matriarch.

I want my son to know that one day he will hear funny, off-the-wall stories about his great grandmother Alice Patricia Burns. She was a very unique, headstrong woman. There was no questioning how she felt about something or her opinions. To put it bluntly sometimes she was off-putting and upset people, but my mom said it so beautifully and gracefully that I admire her so much, "Even though grandma didn't always let us in or say the nicest of things, God forgave her the moment she did anything."  She wasn't always the kind of grandma who took you shopping or asked about every detail of your life, but she was the kind of grandma that had great pride in her beliefs, her heritage, and her family.

What I know now in reminiscing is that she always stayed true to herself. I hope that one day when I tell my son about her I teach him how she never made apologies for standing up for what she believed in or thought. She was a woman of traditions and deep convictions. She went to church every Sunday, even in the care of her nursing home. She taught all of our family to pause and pray together before every meal. We spoke two prayers together, on in English and one in Swedish.

Bless us, Oh Lord,
and these thy gifts which we are about to receive

from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord.
Amen.

(Then in Swedish)

In Jesus' name we go to the table

To eat and drink at thy Word.

She was also fiercely loyal to my grandpa and loved him beyond words. Grandma was married to my grandpa, Robert Leo Burns and loved him since she was 14. He too was a strong man, but more importantly a spiritual man. He always told us how much he loved us and tried to teach us things about his passions like gardening, farming, photography and reading. I will always cherish our family swim parties at their house and fun Christmas traditions. Grandpa died March 11, 2004 but there is no doubt he has been waiting for my grandma in heaven. Above all I am so thankful to God that they raised my dad to be a loving, strong, intelligent Christian man that peanut will love as fiercely as I do.

Although I am sad because this meants peanut won't get to meet another great grandparent, I am rejoicing in knowing that all of my grandparents loved me so much (he still has his ProYiayia to love on him!). And I praise God that Derek's grandparents are still living and have embraced me and loved me like they do. I am grateful they let me call them "grandma" and "grandpa" and that they treat me as one of their own.  I will miss my grandparents but I am forever indebted to have had them all as long as I have because each of them shaped my life. I hope that the greatest Papou ever, the sweetest Grandpa, and the strongest-willed Grandma are all dancing in the Golden Streets together!